


Public indecency

by beespiesandplaid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:23:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7390696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beespiesandplaid/pseuds/beespiesandplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus takes Sirius to a nudist beach and it's exactly as ridiculous as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Public indecency

**Author's Note:**

> written for an anon prompt on tumblr. I don't think I can call myself a serious writer anymore.

“Sirius, chill out. It’s just a few willies.”

“A FEW WILLIES! MOONY!”

Remus shakes his head, laughing. Sirius is red in the face, wearing his underpants (patterned with baby owls) and waving his hands around wildly.

“I don’t know why you didn’t ask James to come with you.”

Remus rolls his eyes. “Because James is a poor, confused bisexual, and he’d not be able to deal with it.”

“I’M A POOR CONFUSED BISEXUAL ALSO.”

“Sirius. What is the problem?”

“NAKED PEOPLE, Remus, naked people everywhere.”

“That is the point of a nudist beach.”

“I have no idea why you want to come here. Can’t we just sit at home and be naked?”

“That is not going to help me overcome my issues with my body. My therapist says this is a huge step towards self-acceptance. Though I’m not sure it’s me who has the issues, clearly. I feel fine.”

“Well, Moony, that is because you are exceptionally beautiful and are in full control of your bodily urges.”

“Is this about boners, Sirius.”

“I repeat, raging bisexual, nudist beach.”

“It’s just a bit of blood.”

“A bit of- bloody hell. I always thought you were all reserved and shy.”

“Well it’s not like I’m going to be swinging my dick around or anything. I’m just going to walk onto the beach, maybe sit in the sun for a bit, maybe swim, and then go home. It’ll be fun.”

“Swinging… your… jeepers.”

“Jeepers! Who on this god-forsaken planet says Jeepers!”

“It’s a common muggle phrase, Moony. Get with it.”

“Take your pants off and lets go.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“If you really don’t want to, we can go home. I don’t mind.”

“What if people stare at me?”

“People don’t.”

“They might.”

“Well, just look at me, and then you won’t notice.”

Sirius stares at him. “Moony, that won’t help. I can’t stare at you naked in public.”

“Why not? Oh, bloody hell. Boners are very natural Sirius.”

“I never thought you of all people would try and get me to go on a nudist beach. This goes against everything in my upbringing.”

Remus grins. “Your mother would hate it, wouldn’t she.”

Sirius grins and undresses. “Let’s go and indulge in some public indecency.”

“You don’t have to make it sound so sleazy. Anyway, it’s not indecent – it’s a nudist beach.”

A very large naked man walks past and Sirius pales. Remus grabs his hand. Sirius lets out a long, slow breath, and stands up straight. It is a bit odd, really, Remus thinks, as they walk naked on the sand. They keep to the edge, and Sirius stares pointedly at his feet.

“OK that’s it. No more. We are sitting down. Cross legged, hands in laps. I feel like there is a giant flashing neon arrow pointing to my dick.”

Remus glances down. There isn’t. They sit in the sand, and Remus is glad he’s got a towel, otherwise there would be sand _everywhere._

“It’s a nice beach,” Sirius comments, “Except for all the butts.”

“You like butts. Every five minutes you tell me how nice someone’s butt looks.”

Sirius furrows his brows, and Remus waits for his inevitably odd explanation. “Well, Moony, I think I mostly like the idea of the butt more than the reality, you know? Actual naked butts quite often have cellulite and all.”

“The human body is beautiful in all its many forms,” Remus says, and he’s quoting his therapist, which makes him revaluate his life decisions.

“Oh the body is fine. It’s just the specific parts I take issue with.”

They fall quiet, and Remus notices that they are still holding hands. This isn’t weird, per say, as he and Sirius are both quite aware of their mutual attraction to one another, it’s just the extent to which they act on it that varies. It’s just a bit intimate, holding hands naked.

“Is it helping then?” Sirius asks, and he sounds a little more relaxed now he’s gotten over his initial nerves.

“I don’t know. I suppose no one is staring at me, except you.”

Sirius has the grace to blush and drag his eyes away from their current resting place of his left collarbone. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

“S’ok. I don’t mind.”

“You… you look fine. You know that right?”

Remus shrugs.

“I mean it. I think you’re beautiful.”

“I think you’re daft, but thanks.” He doesn’t argue with Sirius, because Sirius is using his “I’m being very honest right now and it makes me feel vulnerable voice” so he just smiles and lets his fingers brush against Sirius leg.

“I still can’t believe you said willies though.”

Remus rolls his eyes and lies down. The sun is warm on his chest, and if he closes his eyes he can forget that he is sharing the beach with fifty or so other naked people. Sirius flops down beside him, and Remus feels careful fingers trace over his scars. He shivers.

“I don’t have any desire to come here again,” Sirius murmurs, “But I do rather like laying on the beach with you.”

“Even though I’m naked.”

“Especially because you’re naked.”

“We shouldn’t be like this,” Remus sighs. The flirting is OK, and so is the occasional touch, but this strays too close to something more. Sirius’ fingers circle his nipple, and Remus swallows, mouth dry.

“We are though,” Sirius murmurs, and Remus knows it’s only the public location that stops anything more happening. He imagines, just for a moment, that they are alone, that Sirius hand reaches up to cup his jaw, that his tangled curls brush against his cheek and he inhales his shampoo as soft lips brush his own and…

“Excuse me! Do you mind?” Sirius says, a little shrilly, sitting up suddenly. Remus is temporarily blinded by the sun, but when he sits up he sees a very naked James Potter sitting beside them. Sirius is a little red in the face.

“Prongs? What the hell are you doing here?”

James sniffs.  “Padfoot, I cannot believe you went to a nudist beach without me. Honestly, what kind of friend are you?”

“Erm. It was Moony’s idea.”

James turns on Remus, and Remus is a little taken aback by the intensity of James expression. “That is just rude. The pair of you! Sneaking off skinny dipping and… and canoodling without me!”

“Canoodling!”

“I’ll canoodle with you, Prongsy.”

“Fuck of, Black. I don’t want to canoodle with you.”

“Stay away from Moony!”

“We were not canoodling.”

“Well. I’d like another explanation.”

“Moony had a beetle on his nipple.”

James nods like this makes a lot of sense and lets it go. He shifts about a bit on his towel (bright pink, patterned with snitches) and sighs contentedly. Remus catches Sirius eye. Sirius pulls an expression of mild horror.

“So Prongs, swimming are we?” Sirius says, and James leaps up. Remus is glad to only have to look at the back of James as they head for the water.


End file.
